What Kills You Makes You Stronger

Posted: August 3, 2012 in Personal Moment
Tags: , ,

People always tell you that what doesn’t kill you will make you stronger but tonight I just don’t feel like I’m getting stronger, I feel like I’m mostly getting killed.  Our house is getting built but the progress seems to be moving so slow, I feel like my grandmother could build it faster than these stupid builders can and this just means many aspects of my life continue to be on hold. My poor little Elaina is sick with a nagging fever which makes her extremely high maintenance. I haven’t done the laundry because I just did it and I can’t find the motivation to do it again… and on and on I could go with a laundry list of things that are just killing me. So where is this illusive strength?

Well, as I am sitting here pondering this question I am drawn to 2 Corinthians 4:7-12 which says this:

But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves; 8 we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; 9 persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; 10 always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. 11 For we who live are constantly being delivered over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. 12 So death works in us, but life in you.

So if I’m reading this correctly it seems like strength only comes from death and a more accurate phrase would be “What kills you makes you stronger.” It’s a death of my nature that is necessary to allow the strength of Christ to supersede what I am naturally capable of. God is using the broken, painful and annoying things in my life to strike me down but not destroy me, to afflict me but not crush me so that all the strength in my own nature will be shown as weak and dead and I will fall into his arms… That way the fact that He is who He is and He is holding me will be the strength I need to stand up under my circumstances. It is against my nature to fall into God’s arms. It is my nature to try to figure out how to run from pain but if I let this nature die, this verse says that the life of Jesus will be manifested in my flesh and I really want that. The life of Jesus is strong, peaceful and not broken by circumstances. I want to be that one day.

I guess my point in writing this is just to let all those people out there who feel like they are getting killed by life know that I am right there with you tonight. And after I close my laptop up, I will be on my knees with my husband praying for God to show me how to let my nature die so that He can be my strength.

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