Posts Tagged ‘motherhood’

I don’t think there are many who would argue with the statement that motherhood is the most thankless job in the world. We don’t remember the years that our mother’s got up with us in the middle of the night, changed our dirty diapers, fed us and cleaned up the countless messes that we made. We take for granted the fact that we always had clean clothes, three meals a day and that our mom sacrificed most of her free time investing in all of our activities and education.

So on this Mother’s Day week I would like to share a list I made of all the forgotten things my mom did to make me who I am today. I realize there are many who struggle with strained relationships with their mothers, but I hope I can at least encourage everyone to look for the good things your mom did and maybe take the time to tell her thank you. After all, don’t we want our kids to be merciful and remember the things we did well despite all our mistakes? I know I do.

All The Things My Mom Did Right:

1.She loved Jesus.

2. She taught me what it means to really love a man by how she loved my dad. She never talked badly of him, she respected him, she served him, she never left and they are still in love today.

3. She was resourceful. My dad was a teacher so we didn’t have any money but my brother and I never really noticed. She was just so good at making what we had work.

4. She made holidays special. Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, Valentine’s Day, it didn’t matter what the holiday was, she always found a way to make it special for the whole family.

5. She was and is always there for me. Even as an adult there is not one time in my life that I can ever say my mother wasn’t there for me. Many times I have needed her and no matter how inconvenient it might have been, she was always right there.

6. She knew how to have fun. My mother loves to shop, eat junk food, go on family excursions and be spontaneous. One of my best memories of her was the day we skipped school to go see the Houston Symphony and watch the Sound of Music all afternoon.

7. She homeschooled my brother and I even when it cost her everything. My mother started homeschooling in the 80’s when it was not the movement that it is today. She not only lost all of her free time but the support of her family as well, and with limited resources she worked extremely hard to make sure we got a good education. Her sacrifice in this will always be an inspiration to me.

8. She taught me how to really care about people. Whenever my mom saw someone who was struggling or hurting, she would always do something; whether it was flowers, a card or just a phone call, she would always find a way to let them know they were loved.

9. She never left. Now that I am a stay-at-home mom I realize what a feat it is to simply stick with your kids when things are difficult. In a world where so many mothers abandon their children, I am so grateful that my mother showed me what it looks like to persevere even when you feel like running.

10. She became my friend. Some have said that you are not to be your child’s friend and that is true to an extent especially when they are small. However, as parents we are to cultivate a relationship with our children in addition to teaching them how live by standards. This is so that when childhood gives way to adulthood, a friendship can indeed blossom. My mother spent much time cultivating a relationship with me, especially as I got into my teen years and this relationship has grown into a friendship that I cherish to this day.

So thank you, Mom for everything you did right. I know there is a lot that is not on this list, but these are the things that have meant the most to me and I just want you to know that you were very good at your very thankless job. I love you so much and Happy Mother’s Day!

“Her children rise up and bless her;” – Proverbs 31:28

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Death of a Girl

Posted: March 8, 2013 in Personal Moment
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

On a typical morning I sat sipping my coffee and staring blankly out the window. My children ran wildly around the kitchen table and the question running through my mind was “How did I get here? I am in my pajamas at 10:00 in the morning, I haven’t brushed my teeth or my hair and I am surrounded by wild monkeys disguised as human beings… What happened?”

I then began to retrace the steps of my life and in my head I could see an idealistic girl just out of high school with romantic dreams of getting married, starting a family and being a perfect mother of perfect children. I was going to be in control; not like all the crazy mothers I saw at Walmart and everyone would look to me for wisdom and advice.

Then I flashed forward to reality and realized I am the crazy mom at Walmart. Life has long put to death that young, delusional girl in so many ways and that fact begs the question… Do I wish things were different? Do I wish that girl of so long ago was right about everything and still alive somewhere inside of me?

I think almost every mom comes to this place. It’s the place where we must either decide to embrace the journey of becoming a woman or spend our life mourning the loss of a girl we thought would live forever. Every day I spend with my kids, I am convinced that motherhood is a tool that God uses to change us from little girls who think they are always right and can somehow control everything, into women who know that only God is right and we can control nothing. Please do not misunderstand me to say that in becoming women we should lose our sense of fun or passion for life. However, I think it is safe to say that there is much foolishness in our youth that God means to put to death on the battlefields of motherhood and if we are wise we will let Him do it no matter how painful it can be at times.

So for me, the answer to the question “Do I wish things were different?” is no. The girl that I was, with my unrealistic ideals and desperate need to be seen as perfect, is not the person I was meant to be forever; that girl was meant to die so that a woman could be born. And the good news is that the woman I am today is not the woman I will be 10 years from now… God isn’t done with me yet and the little monkey children running around my kitchen table are His gifts to me not because they are easy but because they wreak havoc in the areas of my life that no one else can get to. This is what gives life depth and beauty even though it is much harder than it was before. Quiet moments are not just empty spaces to fill with more activity, they are little pieces of heaven; People are no longer an audience I must perform for, but partners in a journey; Prayer is not just an abstract idea, but the essential element of daily survival, and on I could go…

So what about all the other moms out there? Do you wish you could go back to the girl you were or can you see a depth to the woman you are becoming that far outshines your youth? If I had to guess, I bet you are more beautiful now than you have ever been… even in your pajamas. 

1 Corinthians 13:10-12