In September of 2010 Wheeler and I packed up about half of all the belongings in our house and put them into storage in order to get our house ready for sale. Our oldest daughter was not even a year old yet and I was about 6 months pregnant with our second daughter… For months the Lord had been tugging at our hearts through circumstances and other factors to put our house up for sale and we kept fighting the idea because the timing just seemed so off… Finally, in a leap of faith we just did it and thus began the insanity but also it was the birth of a whole new journey of faith for us. From September through December we struggled with living in our house but not really… we struggled with the uncertainty of wether our house would ever sell or not and wondering if we had really made the right decision. Then came December, our house sold and our closing date was the same week that I was due to deliver our new baby girl, once again reminding us that God has a very interesting sense of humor. Sooooo, I delivered Elaina Grace Sexton on January 25, 2011, was released on the 26th and then on January 27, 2011 we packed up all of our immediate belongings and moved into my parent’s house…. This began the week from Hell. I didn’t know it at the time but I had given birth to an angry house guest who hated sleep and she was determined to make sure that no one else slept while my poor husband labored to pack up the rest of our house and move us out before the 31st. Praise God for friends and family!!
The first 6 months were almost unbearable for everyone involved… Not only did our new little baby girl prove to be much more tightly wound that we had anticipated but we also were attempting to finish remodeling the half of the house that we were supposed to be living in. Yes, I did just say that. But not only does God have a sense of humor, He is merciful and by the end of the summer we were able to finish the construction and everyone was able to have a little bit of space. Then came fall and holidays which actually proved to be a time of rest and a reminder of God’s provision even in the season of transition.
So now here we are in March 2012 and we finally found a house that we love in a location that we love but its not built yet… so we have to wait… AGAIN! It has been a year and a half since we started this journey of change and to be honest the weight of being unsettled and without a home has become very heavy for me… So as I am struggling with my reality, I must ask myself, what is God’s glory in these circumstances? Well, for one thing, I believe it is God’s glory to show the strength of marriage and that it is designed to stand even when circumstances are less than ideal… Wheeler and I have had to learn how to cling to each other in ways that we never had to before and it has been to God’s glory to deepen our love and strengthen us with discomfort… It is God’s glory to show the strength of family and to teach us to love and understand each other more deeply… I know that I understand and appreciate my parents much more than I ever did before… They are generous and the most resilient people I have ever met and I am so thankful for the opportunity to see them that way. But mostly I think it is God’s glory to show that He is good and the things that feel like some sort of punishment are a mercy… In His mercy He knew I would have drowned with trying to handle two babies on my own and so He surrounded me with family… In His mercy He knew we would have suffered financially with going down to one income so He gave us the opportunity to have a reprieve… In His mercy he gave us beautiful baby girls who are as much the delight of our life as they are a challenge… In His mercy He is making us a stronger family and in His mercy He will bring us where He wants us to be in His time. So I guess what I hope to say about this review of our ongoing journey is that God is good and He delights to do good to those who love Him… And even for a heavy soul like mine that is just really good to know.
Mommys Anonymous 