Clarity

Have you ever begged God for clarity on a decision, gotten it and then thought “Wow, that’s not exactly what I thought it would be.”? Today was that day for me.

Yesterday, after being told another lie by our builder, I couldn’t help but feel like we were holding on too tight; it was time for something to happen that would take the pressure off of our families and give us some perspective. So I went home and begged God for clarity. Then I sent Wheeler an e-mail explaining my feelings.  He soon texted me back saying he felt the same thing and we began to discuss options. We looked into staying in an extended stay hotel, which the builder had offered to pay for, but after looking at it for about 5 seconds we knew that was absolutely out of the question.  So then we began re-examining the research we had done on apartments a few weeks ago and decided to follow up with the one we had liked the best.

I called to find out that they had a promotional rate that would make a 3 month lease doable for us and they had the exact floor plan we wanted available for move-in this weekend, but we would need to make a decision soon. This was a good option but we were still struggling with all the unknown variables, the logistics of moving so quickly and the effect the sudden change might have on the girls. So we prayed about it, discussed it with family and decided to sleep on it. This morning we got up feeling like we should go ahead with the apartments but we continued to ask God for clarity. At 9:00am we received a call from the builder confirming our concerns about the schedule for the house. At a little after 9:00 we spoke to our realtor who advised us to go forward with the apartment. At 9:30am we signed the paperwork and will be moving in this Saturday on December 1^st.

Amazingly, God gave us the clarity we needed in less than 24 hours, but it wasn’t exactly what I thought it would be. Secretly, I wanted clarity that said we would move into our house before Christmas. However, that’s not what happened and to be honest I feel strangely ok with it. We have been so tightly wound for the last 12 months over this house and God in His wisdom is giving us a chance to let go of something that was His in the first place. We have not withdrawn our contract from the house at this point and who knows what will happen after the first of the year but here’s what I do know… God will give us clarity just in time for us to need it and even if the direction is a surprise, we can rest in His perfect provision that has sustained us thus far.

Moment of The Week

Recently I was having dinner with a friend that I hadn’t seen in a very long time. We were laughing and catching up on old news when I decided to pull out the menu which happened to be underneath my fresh glass of ice tea. With my left hand I reached to hold the glass of tea and then with my right, I pulled at the menu. Well, my right hand proved to be faster than my left because I pulled the menu out before I had a grip on the tea and in a matter of seconds, I was totally soaked in ice cold tea. Not a good start to the evening, but little did I know it was only going to get better. When I got home I realized that I had run over one of my dad’s sprinkler heads for about the fourth time this year. When I finally got inside and proceeded to tell my husband about my series of unfortunate events, a cockroach fell from the ceiling right front of me, which sent both of us into a tizzy of trying to kill the unwelcome intruder. After that I decided it was time for bed.

Unshakeable Joy

Thanksgiving has always been my favorite time of the year.  It’s the official kick-off of the Christmas season and it’s a time to celebrate all the great things in life like family, friends and exceptional food. However, this year it feels like everything I have hoped for has ended in immense frustration and I find myself allowing clouds of disappointment to hang over all the beautiful things about my life.

It’s pathetic really. I have a relationship with the living God who not only saved me once and for all but loves me more than I can fathom.  I have a husband who is still crazy about me even after 10 years of marriage, beautiful children who are healthy, a family who is there for me, friends who care, I have food to eat, enough money to cover expenses and a pillow top mattress, which I have to admit is one of my favorite things in life. Could anyone really ask for more? Yet, in the last week, it seems that my heart has struggled to live in the reality of God’s goodness. Instead, I find disappointment tugging at my thoughts and pirating the unshakeable joy that is rightfully mine in Christ.  However, as I meditate on these things, I am reminded that this joy is only born of the gratitude that I am lacking.  It comes from realizing who God is and who I am not. God is good and I am not. God is sovereign and I am not. No matter what He gives or takes away it is for my growth, my good and my ultimate joy. Therefore, when I am grateful for the blessings that warm my soul AND grateful for the hardship that shakes my affections from this world, joy is born because suddenly every cloud of disappointment has a silver lining of purpose.

So as moms, we all want our kids to have joy but I think the best way to give them that is to show them what true gratitude looks like. Teach them to count their blessings of course, but also teach them to count their hardships as blessings.  As I have already mentioned, I am having a difficult time doing that this year, but here is my challenge, to myself and to all my fellow readers out there. When you are sitting around that Thanksgiving feast tomorrow with your friends and family, don’t just say thanks for the blessings but also for the difficulties that are keeping you walking towards Him. We give thanks because of who He is not because of what He gives us and thus we have unshakeable joy.

“Give thanks to the Lord for He is good; His love endures forever.” – Psalm 107:1